Breastfeeding Diaries

This is a post I did as a guest blogger on a blog called The Girl in the Red Shoes. She has a section titled The Breastfeeding Diaries where moms share their experiences with breastfeeding. I had been following this blog for a year or so before Reagan was born and learned a lot so I was glad to add my story to the others.

Hi there! I'm Stephanie and I'm a wife, sister, daughter, mormon, nurse, dog and cat mama, and the lucky mommy to the amazing Reagan! I'm also a regular follower of The Girl in the Red Shoes and especially the Breastfeeding Diaries. I gained so much from reading fellow moms stories and feel blessed to share a bit of my own experience.

 I had a pretty easy pregnancy until the last few months when my sweet baby would not/could not turn out of her breech position which resulted in a scheduled c-section. It wasn't part of my "plan" but it was what was safest for both of us and turned out to be a very positive experience for my husband and me. I was lucky to have a great physician and nurse who worked with me to have the most natural c-section possible. We had a mirror in the OR so I could watch her birth which was followed by skin to skin within 1 minute of her birth right there on the OR table! She rode back to the recovery room right there on my chest.

 

 

Like many other moms I didn't do any formal preparation for breastfeeding but knew that I wanted to do it and knew that I had a very supportive family to help me. I didn't really think about it but figured we would both just know what to do. Well thank goodness for my angel labor and delivery nurse who was my first coach and teacher as soon as we got out of the OR. What would I have done without her?! She got me started and then I was lucky to have a lactation consultant visit me each day after. She provided so much reassurance and direction in those first days. Yes it hurt...like toe curling while she latched hurt but I knew it was worth it and was pretty sure it would be temporary. And it was!
But thank goodness for lanolin!

I'm so grateful for the family support we had in those first few weeks. Breastfeeding advice from my mom and sister was essential and my husband was so supportive to whatever we needed. 

  

In those first weeks and months of uncertainty as a new mom I was certain about one thing. This girl loved to nurse! Sure it was for nourishment but it was also many times for comfort. I remember feeling like we were attached 75% of the day and at times it could get exhausting but now that I look back I wish I would have cherished every moment  just a little more because those babies grow SO quickly!  

But all that time together did teach me how to multitask...

Outside of a few bouts of thrush which required treatment for both of us, my biggest struggle while breastfeeding was a low supply. I had no idea this was coming and had no idea who much of a mental struggle this would be for me. I started pumping about a month before returning to work and quickly realized that my supply would not be enough. So we began supplementing with formula. And you know what? It wasn't horrible! In fact we could not have fed our baby without it. But I still tried "everything" the internet, other moms, and the lactation specialist could suggest (outside of beer since I don't drink alcohol). I tried extra water, extra calories, oatmeal, lactation cookies (ughh), fenurgreek, prescription domperidone, extra pumping sessions, etc. But ultimately nothing helped. I'm sure that my return to work played a big part in the low supply but there wasn't much I could do about it. I had amazing coworkers who watched my patients so I could get away to pump twice every 12 hour shift (ideally it would have been 3 times but in the hospital world that's not gonna happen). But I kept at it. I pumped twice a shift, EVERY shift for almost a year even though I saw my supply dwindle down as the months went on. When I got down to bringing home 1 oz after a whole shift I knew my pumping time was coming to a close. But I wanted to continue nursing her as long as SHE wanted. Sadly, that time came at about 14 months old. She had been showing declining interest for many weeks and I remember one morning specifically when I was trying to get her to nurse and she looked up at me with a "what are you doing mom? I'm done" kind of look and I knew. That was one of the last nursing sessions we shared. I was sad to be done but knew that it had happened as naturally as possible and on HER timeline. But oh how I LOVED nursing my baby! I cherished that time with her and was sad to see it end but not devastated as I was worried I would be. It was an amazing time to reflect back on those early days of nursing a brand new baby that I could hold in one arm and to watch her grow into this big toddler who's legs hung over the arm of the nursery chair that we spent so much time in.

 

I think the biggest pieces of advice I could offer to other moms would be...

First, seek out the help that is available. Whether you think you need it or not. Especially in those first few days after birth as you are getting started on this journey.

Second, as a mom who spent plenty of time pumping, I cannot say enough good things about the hands free pumping bra! I honestly can't imagine pumping without it. 

Third, the best thing I did for my mental health while combating a low supply was to just "let go" of the stress and anxiety about the amount of milk I was or wasn't producing. The stress certainly wasn't helping the low supply. One day after months of struggle I just came to grips with the fact that I was doing all that I could and giving my best to my baby. That's all she asked of me and it's all I should ask of myself. My world really changed after that.

And last, ENJOY these times together! Because they will be over so quickly.

I'm grateful for this chance to share my story and hope that it will help even one mom. I look forward to reading your stories and look forward to the blessing of nursing another precious baby of mine in the future!

Reagan 12-14 Month Highlights

Reagan,
    Here is some journaling mommy did after your birthday and through January 2015.

 You love to crawl under the table like the doggies. They on the other hand aren't too sure about sharing their space.
 

You love to play pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo.

You say "uh oh", still babble a lot, sing and howl.

At 14.5 months you figured out how to use a fork! We noticed you were interested in ours so we let you have it and you totally knew what to do!

We went with daddy to a small branch one Sunday and after the meeting you waved and crawled up to him on the stand. The congregation loved it!

You absolutely love to crawl around, especially outside of your nursery and one night you were crawling and found our bike helmets. You weren't quite sure what it was so I put one on my head and you laughed. I put the other on you and you took off crawling and left it on your head until dinner! Silly baby.

On January 4th, 2015 you were invited into nursery for the first time and did great even though you were only 14 months old! You played with the kids and had a snack and did music time with bells. Daddy and I laugh because you were the youngest but one of the biggest kids in there!

We were having a birthday dinner for daddy and you were sitting between us at the table. You kept pulling on our shirts to pull us together to kiss! You got the biggest, cheesiest smile on your face and made us do it over and over again!
 

 Mama spoke in church in January and it warmed my heart to see Daddy walk in carrying you looking so pretty and waving at me from the bench. You smiled and yelled at me :)

Around January 12th you decided you were done nursing. It was a gradual process and one that I knew was coming. I was sad to see that time of ours end but it wasn't as traumatic as I expected it to be. Thankfully it happened pretty naturally and on your timeline which is what I wanted all along. Thank you for giving me 14.5 months of those special moments. I have cherished them and will remember this time with you forever!
 

Ever since you got 2 soft puppets from Grammy and Grandpa for Christmas, you've started giving them and most other soft things (stuffed animals, blankets) loves. You hug them close then lay down on the floor while hugging them :)
 

You are such a smart little girl! At bedtime on January 24th (day after you turned 15 months) you reached up to give me your book of Mormon picture book because you know we read it at night. Then when Daddy came in to say family prayers with us you folded your arms, bowed your head, and closed your eyes all by yourself just like we've shown you! This was the first time we've seen you do it and we were cheering!

You are a thinker Miss Reagan :)

 

Such a ham!

 

All dressed up in our New Year's attire!

Thanksgiving and Christmas 2014

We spent 2 weeks in Utah to share Thanksgiving with the families. We were so lucky to get the third seat on both flights which helps so much! Reagan was a champ and enjoyed snacks, her DVD player full of Curious George and Paw Patrol and had fun looking out the window. We couldn't get her to nap though until the plane landed and then the poor girl just crashed!
 

We spent Thanksgiving Day with our West family. It worked out perfectly because it also happened to be Uncle Fritz and cousin Adalaide's birthdays. Grandma Nancy made a wonderful meal and it was nice to be together with everyone (except Uncle Jason and Aunt Kelli and the boys who are in Texas and Aunt Nessa in Uruguay).
 

Watching Thanksgiving football (our Detroit lions of course). Love Reagan's touchdown arms!

We did our Allan Thanksgiving the next day which ironically enough was my and Aunt Leslie's birthday. She and I ran a 3.1 mile turkey trot the day before for our 31st birthday :)



While we were in Utah we went to the Zoo and Thanksgiving Point with the West's.



And of course Grandma and Grandpa West got plenty of precious Reagan time!

Our big business girl

1st pigtails courtesy of Grandma Nancy!

Looking at birdies with Grandma and Grandpa

Poor Reagan recovering after a sick day :(

We were able to have an extended family pre-Thanksgiving, go to Temple Square and have lots of cousin/Grammy and Grandpa time with the Allan's.





It was so nice to spend 2 whole weeks with my baby! Although there is no denying that she is a daddy's girl after this trip. She frequently calls for him if he's not with her. In fact when we were at cousin Aidan's baptism I sat in the back with her since she had been sick the day before and she called out for her dad the whole time!
 

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We didn't get home from Utah until December 7th so we felt a little behind the game on getting our house ready for Christmas but we got the tree up and a few ornaments.
We got back just in time for our annual family picture with Santa. Surprisingly this one was one of the easiest ones yet!
 

We also got our family Christmas cards mailed out.


Mommy just can't resist getting your pictures taken since you are so beautiful!

We went to a tree farm where we had a little petting zoo all to ourselves. Mom was in heaven! The goats even had a little tree house we were pretty impressed with.
We also went to the zoo to see Christmas lights and a few animals that were still awake.

Mom worked Christmas Eve but was surprised by a visit from you and daddy since you were too excited to sleep! But alas, you went to bed and slept in. I was so ready for you to wake up so we could celebrate.
 


Santa got you just a few toys and a movie since he knew you would be spoiled by grandparents. You LOVED the toy lamp he brought but were less interested in the musical puppy (which we later exchanged for a gumball machine type toy that you love). You love your new Curious George movie. We had fun watching your learn to rip the paper and take off the bows!

 

Santa never forgets the doggies and kitty! Or mom and dad :)

 And no surprise, you were spoiled rotten by your grandparents and aunts and uncles! After a family nap, we had fun video chatting with them while you opened their presents. We also got to video chat with Aunt Vanessa in Uruguay. She will be home soon!



We had our big Christmas dinner the next day and shared it with the missionaries in our area. Mom had fun decorating our table and cooking!
 

Merry Christmas sweet Reagan! We love you SO much!

12 Months!

10/23/14-11/23/14

Height: 30 1/4 inches (85%)
Weight: 23 lb 6 oz (83%)
Head: 48.8 cm (99%!)

Happy 1st Birthday sweetheart!! Daddy and I can't believe you are already a year old! It's bittersweet for us. For your birthday we started off by having birthday pancakes (daddy's idea). Of course we let you try them with butter and sugar just like Grandma Ann used to make them. Later we got to video chat with Grandma and Grandpa West, Aunt Kelli, and Aunt Leslie. You were spoiled with fun new toys and books!
 

Then came time for your birthday cake. We think you had more fun smashing it then eating it but that's okay because it was your special day! We love you so much smooch!

 

You cracked us up with your cake eating process. 1st step was getting over the shock of the cake in front of you. 2nd, carefully removed the unlit candle. 3rd, get weirded out by the funny texture. 4th, evaluate what you just got on your hands. 5th, dig in! 6th, finally take a bite. 7th, savor the new taste. 8th, finally decide that you love birthday cake!


Every first birthday inevitably ends with a birthday bath!


*We took you for 1st birthday and Halloween pictures. I love them!

  

 

Dearest Reagan,
   I can't believe you are a year old already! You have given me the best year of my life and I love you so very much! I enjoyed taking the day to remember your birth and those first moments with you.
I've also been thinking about something very special to me over the last year and that is our wonderful breastfeeding relationship. I'm so grateful we've had this year and hopefully more to spend together in those quiet moments. Not only were you nourished but it was special bonding time for us. I am so happy to have nursed you every day of your life so far. Whether it was twice a day or all day, I'm very thankful for every opportunity.
 
I've loved watching you learn and grow. You are such a smart and beautiful girl and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. I know you must grow up but I hope you'll always be mommy's baby!
I love you forever sweetheart!
Love,
Mom

 *We are glad you were happy for your birthday because the next day we took you to your 1 year check up at the pediatrician. Dr Loznak still says you are doing great and isn't worried about a thing! You had to get 4 shots and they left you not feeling very well or sleeping very well the rest of the week. Daddy and I hate seeing you sick!


*For your second Halloween we started a day early and took you to a nursing home to a trick or treating event. All the residents were sitting in the hallway handing out candy and they were so happy to see you! You wore your pretty fairy costume and they all loved it. They even had a petting zoo and a fire truck and ambulance there!
 
Halloween day was very cold (first day of snow) so we took you to the mall to see all the other kids in costumes. You looked so cute in your 3rd costume...a mouse! You had so much fun and kicked your legs the whole time. It was too cold to go out at home so you helped us hand out candy to the few trick or treaters that came by.

I found some of our halloween led candles and showed them to you. You loved them! Grandpa Allan is proud!

And of course we had to wear our matching halloween dresses :)


*Reagan, you are such a sweet and happy baby. We love to hear your laugh and see your cheesy smile! You've started making a duck face with your lips pursed and it cracks us up every time we see it.


*You still love your books. We often find you sitting and looking through the pages of your many books. You got a new book for your birthday called "Goodnight Gorilla" and you laugh every time you see the picture of the wife finding the gorilla in her bed. You also love your big dog book and look at it every day.

*Now that you are 1 you have a whole new idea of what church is and it doesn't include being held or holding still! You would crawl the whole 3 hours if we would let you (and most of the time we do).

*We love to hear your babbling and words. Your favorite and most frequent word is "dada" reapeated over and over again :)

   

*Finally, to celebrate and remember your 1st birthday we had family pictures taken. These are extra special to us because we've waited a long time for you and to get a picture with all of us including the doggies and kitty. We had them taken in the backyard and we love them!